Dear Mom

I bought this card for you because,
I wanted you to know.
That I have had you on my mind,
And that I love you so.

It seems you got away so fast,
My good-byes were not done right.
Too late now to rectify,
To say sleep well, good night.

What happened to the time?
How did it get away?
You know, I don't remember,
When your hair began to gray.

So wrapped up in myself, I guess,
My ambitions, plans, and dreams.
When did you start this aging thing?
I never knew, it seems.

I remember all our good times,
And I forget the bad.
I remember how you laughed a lot,
That I seldom saw you sad.

Though, when you were feeling low,
You knew how to stop the tears.
You mostly seemed to wear a smile,
You rarely showed your fears.

How insensitive I was,
I ignored so many clues.
When I said Mom I cannot come,
I know now that was real hurt for you.

I always said, if things got rough,
That I would be right there.
But when they did, you didn't call,
So how could you know I cared?

I came the minute that I heard,
Though much too late by then.
Already you had gone away,
Too late for my amends.

I never got a chance to tell you,
Thanks for this or thanks for that.
I never got to say I love you,
To give you needed hugs or pats.

In ways, we shut each other out,
I guess we both built walls.
But I could have knocked yours over,
With no sweat at all.

You did not want to be a burden,
And I respected you for that.
But your unselfishness deprived me,
Of my own unselfish acts.

Independence may be virtuous,
Though I don't know if it's wise.
Sometimes it causes one to miss
Important things before one's eyes.

Our communication faltered,
But I should have let you know.
My dear, sweet, stubborn mother,
Your stubborn daughter loved you so.

You will never get this letter,
This card will not go out.
But when God deems we meet again,
Please, let's share hugs and thoughts.

Virginia Ellis
Copyright © 2000